I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
