Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
