...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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