dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Randomize
