It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
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