THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
