There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Randomize
