Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
