Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
i think my mom watched the whole time
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
