Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
