I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Randomize
