So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Randomize