So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I just sucked dick on a ferry
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
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