It's like a parade of train wrecks.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
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