I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Randomize
