Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
