I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Randomize
