yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
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