And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Randomize
