Sponge bath it is.
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
