Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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