weddingsv make me drug and hornr
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Randomize
