i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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