OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
