she was so not down for the gang bang
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
