My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
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