I cockslap morals
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
