i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
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