Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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