why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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