How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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