Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
