Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize
