I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize