With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
