matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
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