I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
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