any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Can you bring me the toilet please
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
