I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
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