Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
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