i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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