I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
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