dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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