This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Randomize
