hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
