just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Randomize
