So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Randomize
