what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Randomize
