waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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