Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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