How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
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