I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Randomize
