her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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