yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I am available for nakedness
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
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