think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
