am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
