in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Little spoons don't ask big questions
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Randomize
