Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
