Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
