At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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