Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Randomize
