Whod you bang
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize