so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Randomize
