I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
