I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
